Without adding quiet to our conversations we really aren’t having a dialogue at all, but more a match up for the best monologue.
‘If You want People to Listen, stop Talking’.
A well-written, wonderful and still a very usefull! article written in 2015 by Peter Bregman in Harvard Business Review.
‘So, how do we do it, in practice? We all know how to be silent.
The question is: can we withstand the pressure to speak.
Few resist it, which is why we seldom have silent moments in groups. But that, according to George, can be used to our advantage.’
“When you ask a question into a group,” he told me, “think of it as a competition. If you answer your own question, you’ve lost. You’ll be answering your own questions all day and no one else will do the work. But wait in the silence — no matter how long — until someone in the group speaks. And they will then continue to do the work necessary to lead themselves.”’
‘There it is, his secret: Let other people speak into the silence and listen quietly for the truth behind their words. Then acknowledge what you’ve heard (which is, most likely, more than has been said) and, once the others feel seen and heard, offer your view.
And when they all agree with you? That’s the power of silence.’
If You Want People to Listen, Stop Talking
4 min. read
Anneke Brouwer Systemic – Dialogic Speaking Coach | Executive Voice Expert | TedxInsead Coach | TEDxWassenaar Organiser
Praktijk voor Stemtraining en Systemische – Dialogische Sprekerscoaching van Executives